Word Vomit

We cannot just say whatever we want to say then say sorry.... over and over again. We cannot justify causing someone else pain because we are in pain- its irresponsible, mean spirited and promotes victim consciousness.

What you say and how you say it matters, once words are out of your mouth- like throwing a rock- they cannot be called back.

Language has power, weigh your words carefully. You can create beauty or emotional annihilation

Choose the higher vibration.

The Outlet

Everyone needs an outlet. Even department stores send old fashions to outlets. It can also be defined as "an exit: an opening that permits escape or release". In a conversation today with an acquaintance he advised me that he and his partner were calling it quits after a difficult 9 year relationship. I asked why were they deciding to end it? One particular response stood out in my mind. He and his soon to be ex never hung out with his friends nor did the mate have anyone aside from him to check him on relationship issues. Thus the mate always thought his actions were ok. I told him I could understand what he was saying and that we all need an outlet. Someone to call us on our BS every now and then. We all need a critique every now and then it helps the relationship to have an outside prospective.

Who ?

• Who is looking to be changed upon entering into a union?


• What changes people?


• When do you stop trying to change someone?


• Where do find common ground to make things work?


• Why cant we accept people for who they are?


• How do you love them for who they are?

People typically never change they modify their behavior to fit the circumstance. In two separate conversations today alone I found myself conversing with friends who are expecting thier current mate to change. One finds himself surprised at his partners past. While the other wants his girlfriend to change totally. Simple answer its easier to build a child than to repair an adult. Obviously something about that person attracted you as they are, deal with that you can and only you will know when you have had enough.

Capacity to Love

Keisha and I went to lunch on Saturday and she advised me what her "capacity to love" was. She does not want more than a husband and possibly one child because her capacity to love can not support more than that. As always when having a conversation with someone of some intellectual substance typically I leave that conversation with some sort lesson, thoughts, etc.

Soooo....... leaving lunch, I was wondering what my capacity to love is. As I grow older I think my capacity to love grows weaker. I find myself not really giving a fuck about certain things that I may have once cared about. Does that make be a bad person? Well I guess I don't give a fuck whether it does or doesn't now do I? LOL....

Signs

As you drive down the street you see signs for any and everything. Typically we follow those signs as they are leading us in direction we are wishing to go.

How often do we follow signs that we do not see? Are lighting bolts to the forehead required for us to see signs all the time. Often times the boat passing you by can be a sign when you are drowning. Yet why do we still miss it?

Lately, I have had several signs regarding several issues just appear to me. Although, I know these have been signs (because I am writing about them currently) why have I not hopped in the boat? I am a pretty decent swimmer but I don't think I can wait for the ATL drought to dry up this water so it looks like I need to get on the next boat that passes.

What happens when.....

What happens when you are carrying dead weight? Once your arm gets tired? After you figure out you need more? When you decide enough is enough?

What do you do when the physical is not enough? Once you decide your needs are not being meet? What do you do when you want substance? When you need to hear more than I love you?

What do you do when you need just one ounce of encouragement? When you are starving for affection? When you want to be taught and not be the teacher?

You take a step back to remember that no one will ever provide you 100% of your needs. *Sigh*

First Next Then and Last......

Sequence is very important when it pertains to events, cause and effect, storytelling, etc. 1+1 must equal 2 before 2x2 can equal 4. It’s just the natural order of things. A friend and I were conversing about his significant other and how they forget what they do to cause a reaction to a situation. I often times have this same problem and apparently its very common.

Why do people forget the key element to a story (their role)?

The Time Machine

A time machine is defined as a science fiction machine that is supposed to transport people or objects into the past or the future. Often times I feel like I am in such a machine. In a conversation with someone dear to me yesterday, I was advised that if I decide to look back be sure to have a clear vision of my future and where I want it to be. For the first time ever, I must admit I don't have a clear vision. I continue to ask myself why am I in this machine? What keeps me traveling backward? If the future is so great when I travel forward why do I not stay there?

Everyone knows I drive a fast car and I have found myself driving so fast lately that I have not noticed the seasons changing around me. In addition, I have looked back to my past for answers and I don't even know whats the question. Recently, I have written two stories related to the past and/or future. Its about time I read them again right?

Today you will find my time machine on Craigslist. LOL. I am done! Futhermore, I will slow the G down and watch spring form.

One Day.......

He will wrap me in his arms while I sleep
he will smile at me while starring in my eyes
he will take me to heights I have never seen
he will tell me his thoughts of a previous dream.

One day he will do things that were never imaged
he will teach me things and help me to inspire.
one day we will have conversation that is far from simple
he will allow me to caress his face ever so gentle.

One day he will make me feel like I am the king in his world
we will be transformed from what we were
he will do things just because
and one day I will say "wow this must be love".

Moving On...

In a conversation with my judy's regarding some of the people I have recently dated I expressed to him that although none actually formed into a relationship, some I would have like to keep around and communicate with while others can kick rocks. Its unfortunate that with each I have not been able to do so because apparently they did not see me as good enough to be a friend, however I was GREAT for relationships.

At first I was pissed, and like WTF, because we did not get into a relationship we can't be friends. Then I came to the conclusion hmmm... maybe you are not suppose to be friends with everyone. Oh well.... I presume everything happens for reasons.

This was a distraction free weekend and it allowed me to focus on whats important to me. Yes my memory had to be jogged but I am glad it has been.

Doing it well

Things are becoming harder as we fall deeper into this recession, there is a cocoon that traps us into negative or limited thinking about who we are and what we can become. Either we can continue to think of ourselves as victims, or we can take ownership of our lives and extend our possibilities in limitless directions.


Think of something in your life you are great at. Own it, and pour your spirit into it. Michael Jordan did not just play basketball, but definied his inner self as he soared to the basket. Within each of us is an inspiration - a spark of insight about the person we were meant to be. Reinventing yourself helps us to name that vision...to call it ours and to begin to make it happen.

Who wants a First Lady?

Why is everyone trying out for the first lady position? Why is it difficult for gay men to be co-presidents? Is it so hard for gay men to have some attributes aside from physical appearances that MEN have?

I personally have a very strong opinion about what defines a man. I don't think that it is necessary for you to have a blue collar position or be a homo thug to have some sort of masculinity. However, every man in his own right should have something masculine about him. That makes him a man aside from standing up to piss, which lets be honest hell some of them dont want to do that LOL.

I dont think that gay relationships should be like hetrosexual relationships. Who the hell wants that? Why can't we be two men co-exist being men? To me there is nothing sexier than you and your man playing sports together, discussing cars, building things, etc.. Uhh you know doing somethings that men do.

Why do I have to change the oil, cut the grass and play sports. Meanwhile you want to be the cheerleader, the wife and/or the first lady. Can we both do both yet still be men? eeewww....

The Race

What are we racing for? Must race be an issue in every instance? Recently a friend and I were talking and she told me while listening to a nationally syndicated radio show the DJ accused those 2 judges who were sending kids to jail of only sending black boys to jail. When in fact they were sending all kids to jail. Why must everyone make everything about their race? Is it not enough that we as a country are all in the same state of crisis right now? I know its an age old question but how different would the world be if race was not an issue? Danielle said her father told her if we did not argue about race it would be about something else height, hair, etc. I presume he is right but I would like to see the day...........

HAPPY MARDI GRAS!!!!!

Hmmm.......

So he has me thinking..... what have I done to ignite such a passion that he wants us to have a family together, share friends, live together. He said he watched me sleep one night and though to himself damn.... he also mentioned there is some kind of feeling you get when you watch the man you want sleeping in your bed.

This is a man I have never even kissed, a man I have known for less than 6 months, the time we spend is limited due to schedule conflicts but some how some way he has imagined all of the above with me. I am not sure what its all about but I am sure it makes me feel good.